Imagine this scenario, you’ve come back from a day with friends not looking at your phone the whole time. When you get back home your partner looks dejected, when you ask them why they seem to be giving you the cold shoulder, they try to avoid the question. Later on, they confess that not responding to their messages made them anxious, making you confused and frustrated. This scenario could mean your partner is struggling with anxiety. Relationships can face a variety of challenges, including distance, schedules, and sometimes mental health. If you’re dating someone with anxiety, you may notice your partner being worried over things that seem minor or unimportant to you, leading to you struggling to know how to help them. This can lead to conflicts within your relationship, but there are ways to help your partner. The first step to understanding how to help your partner is understanding how your partner with anxiety may be feeling.
How Anxiety may affect your partner
Overthinking
Your partner’s anxiety may cause them to overthink and spiral over aspects of your relationship. This can lead to conflicts and misunderstandings between the two of you, as they may misinterpret situations or overanalyze your words or actions.
Dependency
Your partner may rely on you for emotional support. But if they have anxiety, this dependency might become overwhelming at times. This dependency can also bleed into daily situations such as social interactions or making decisions.
Communication Challenges
Anxiety can lead to your partner internalizing their feelings, leading to them pulling away and coming across as cold or they may let their frustrations build up over time. These communication struggles can create tension, even when you want the same outcome: a healthy, supportive relationship.
What you can do to help
Validate their feelings
In order to make sure your partner feels safe enough to discuss their feelings with you, make sure not to minimize their feelings. Trying to understand their emotions and letting them know their feelings are valid, are crucial to your partner feeling safe.
This can be done by listening intently, being accepting and affirming of their feelings, and asking specific questions to uncover potential triggers. After validating their feelings, coming up with a plan together to move forward will encourage them to be more open with you and ensure you’re both on the same page.
Practice Patience
You may feel yourself getting frustrated by your partner struggling to communicate, but lashing out at them or being annoyed will lead to them retreating further. Instead, try to practice patience with your partner by considering their perspective and how anxiety might be impacting them in the moment.
When frustration arises, pause and try to empathize with their struggles. Recognizing their effort and focusing on their progress can help you respond with compassion, which strengthens trust and understanding.
Maintain Lives outside of the relationship
Your relationship may be a high priority for you, but you should have a life outside of your relationship as well. Having friends, hobbies, and activities outside of your relationship allows you to nurture your own identity and have a space just for yourself. Encouraging your partner to do the same is extremely important for both of you.
Having independent interests benefits both of you. It allows your partner to find joy outside the relationship and reduces the pressure on you to meet all their emotional needs.
Encourage Treatment
If your partner isn’t currently in therapy, consider encouraging them to seek professional help. Seeking professional help can help your partner learn coping mechanisms that can aid in gaining control over their anxiety.
Also as a partner dating someone with anxiety, attending therapy can help you as it gives you a space to discuss your own struggles either in the relationship or outside of it.
Whether you’re a partner with anxiety or are with someone with anxiety, you can build a flourishing relationship by working together and seeking help. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health and wants to seek individual or couples therapy book an appointment at Lifecare Wellness Counseling by calling 205-579-9299 or online.
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